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coy

by oldsoul

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1.
Why You Go 02:46
I feel so much. Why do they feel so little? I’m forced to bite my tongue, but even then, the blood soaks. I’ve stained every shirt I own with words of regret and instability. So I stopped wearing white, and I stopped going out. I stopped talking to them, and started talking to myself. Is she still echoing in your head the way you float into my dreams? If you still think of her, that’s okay. I understand how hard it is to let go. So I stopped wearing white, and I stopped going out. I stopped talking to them, and started talking to myself. I understand why you go.
2.
Don’t listen too closely. You might start to feel pity. You might start to feel pretty. Don’t listen too closely. You’ll hide behind your teeth, find comfort in white sheets. Don’t listen too closely. You might start to feel pretty used. Mold me. Pick me up and hold me. ‘Cause I’ve been feeling ugly, anything but lovely. Don’t listen too closely. Don’t give out your looks for free. Speak only to mirrors, mute your words, hide your teeth. Mold me. Pick me up and hold me. ‘Cause I’ve been feeling ugly. Anything but lovely.
3.
You were screaming, and I was listening, and you nudged me out into the current. Wasn't sure if I was floating or sinking, drowning or drifting, but I woke up to your face telling me, “it’s just a dream...” Dream whatever, you're never gonna leave me, are you? Dream whatever, you're never gonna leave. If I was sure that the sun rose for me, then I'd be gliding out your back porch, and back onto the street. While I was climbing the boughs of your evergreen, I remembered all the times I found a home amongst these trees.
4.
Chop down a forest for toothpicks. Drip paint on a canvas laid out on the floor. It feels nothing like it did before. Drop change in a jar for a starving cafe. Cough blood on a letter for the legislature. It feels nothing like it did before.
5.
The first week you moved in, you threw a housewarming party in the new place. It fades to just so many lazy dreams —pinpricks in a lampshade, spilling drinks in the living room. Well, it happens—it happens all the time. If you’ll let me, I want to see you set off on some bright new straight, fall back on the old ways. I hear you shuffling papers on the phone. You carpet-cleaned the furniture, ripped up the old up- holstery on your loveseat. I guess it happens—it happens all the time, if you let it. I want you to see that it happens—it happens all the time, if you let it. I want to see you make that hard decision easy without me. We’ve grown so close, but it’s over. I’m sobering up.
6.
You picked me up while I was still squinting in the morning; asked me where I wanted to go on my day off. I’m just tired, “I don’t know, man, I don’t know.” You’re so persuasive, I can barely get an answer. You’re so persuasive, I can barely decide. Everybody’s saying, “hold me,” and everybody’s begging, “hold me.” And they’re all shouting, “Holy” when they’re feeling lowly. I’d’ve stayed out with you forever, except, I suddenly felt withdrawn from all of this. I’d rather drive alone than measure the distance between our heads. No, I won’t let you decide.
7.
Eyeless 04:26
Cleaning up the mess I left behind, I found you hiding in the shadows. Magnetized, I became tantalized by the first warm body that wasn’t mine. It’s different between you and I. I’m sorry I can’t see past my eyes - closed until my lids are heavy with light. Remind me why I’m here, and why I try. Oh, it’s different between you and I. Find me caught between a dream, and the sound of the leaves falling. I won’t let you miss me. It’s more agreeable to lie, and say it’s different between you and I.
8.
Good Girl 04:14
Oh, it's you. What are you doing up? Would you like a cup, or two? I'm feeling low, but you've come to save what's left of the day. You say it's just rain, but I feel more than water dripping down my face. Is it true, you've found a safe place to find me in case you’re so lonely? I'm so goddamn lonely. The only time it's safe to tell me is when I'm sedated, unconscious, stating, “stay away from me.” And I wonder why I feel so jaded. Give it time, they say. A good girl pushes all the nightmares away. They tell me that someday I'll find my place with a second name and a spark that’s growing faint. And I wonder why I feel so jaded. And I wonder.
9.

about

CD's available via Counter Intuitive Records: www.CounterIntuitiveRecords.com

credits

released February 9, 2018

Engineering, mixing, and mastering by Jake Checkoway
www.jakecheckowayaudio.com

Koi artwork by Maxwell Stevens

Additional vocals on I Fell Asleep... Pt. 1 by Zach Boudrot

A sincere thank you to all our friends and all the people we've met along our way as a band.

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oldsoul Massachusetts

"Education on Earth" out NOW via Counter Intuitive Records

All photos by Adam Parshall

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